and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
