i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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