What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
