Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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