people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
