The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
