So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
