Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
