so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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