You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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