I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
