We named our party play list daddy issues
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
