and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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