I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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