my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
