Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
