hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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