Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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