he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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