dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
