you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
