Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
