I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
