and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
