I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
