Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
