and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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