rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
