Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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