Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
