We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
