thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
