"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
