Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
