Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
