i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
