Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
