Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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