Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
