I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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