what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
