i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
