I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
