the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
