So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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