meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
