accomplished twins. life is a go
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
