glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
