i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
