turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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