Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
