I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
