i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My ass is underappreciated
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
