"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I puked a lego.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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